Of enduring daily

From my book, Severe Silence (https://www.createspace.com/6723881)

Some days it's just too hard.

At work I'm OK--familiar faces, things to do,

so I forget about me.

Than I get home and cook up a bland rice dish

and I can't eat it even though I'm hungry.

I cry for the loss of everything.

I'm lonely, alone, but free.

My entire world is turned upside down.

It's unfathomable, a deep pit.

I'm swirling, no idea who I am.

Like a roller coaster in the dark.

Sheer terror.

It's 7:00 p.m.

Nothing to do.

Too tired to do anything anyway.

Too early to go to sleep

So what now?

Why?

How did this happen?

The enormity of what I have done astounds me.